yay 164.5.  Can't wait to be out of the 60s!
Update:
Today I ate:

breakfast:  2 waffles with preserves
Lunch:  nachos bell grande from taco bell
Dinner:  bowl of vegetables + little bit of alfredo sauce
-bowl of whole wheat egg noodles with cottage cheese
Dessert:  strawberries and light whipped cream

Did a 3 mile work out video kinda thing.

so yeah not exactly what I was going for. Was out shopping with mom and she had to go to some places during my feeding time....and i was soooo hungry.  So nachos.  the workout was difficult...just cuz i haven't worked out in a while.

Weight:  165.5
Didn't lose weight and i'm assuming its cuz i haven't pooped.
Breakfast:  cherrios (plain) and almond milk
Lunch:  lean cuisine
Dinner:  whole wheat egg noodles with cottage cheese
dessert:  1 chocolate almond
Snack:  half of a mango
Snack 2:  half of a bagel with margarine

Ate dinner at 5:30ish and didn't have a snack in between so had the snack later.  I totally forgot about the spinach salad idea.  I'm going to try to work out tomorrow...get my metabolism working. Although it won't help to make me less hungry.  Here's what i'm gunna try for tomorrow:

Breakfast:  2 waffles and preserves

Lunch:  whole wheat noodles with margarine and a spinach salad

Dessert:  strawberries

Do a work out video...

Snack:  1 bagel and margarine

Go for a 45 min walk or hike

Dinner:  4 chicken nuggets with cottage cheese and honey

Snack:  half a mango

today's weight:  165.5, again :(
I guess I can't expect to lose a pound every day.  Today I ate too much:

Breakfast:  2 whole wheat eggo waffles with tiny bit of strawberry preserves
Lunch:  whole wheat egg noodles with half tablespoon of margarine and garlic salt
Snack:  some baby carrots
Snack 2:  blueberry bagel with margarine
Dinner:  6 fake chicken nuggets with honey and 1/4 cup of cottage cheese
Nibbled on:  some baked chips, a few grapes...
Dessert:  1 chocolate almond

Thinking I will try this tomorrow:

Breakfast:  cherrioes cereal and almond milk
Lunch:  Lean cuisine
Snack:  half of a bagel and margarine
Dinner:  whole wheat egg noodles with margarine + spinach salad
Snack:  apple

Didn't work out. just went to work

Weight this morning:  165.5

I was too tired to write what I ate yesterday.  I ate more today but I hope that doesn't mean I don't lose another pound tomorrow.... i was hungry!  

breakfast:  2 whole wheat eggo waffles + strawberry preserves

Lunch:  bowl of my whole wheat pasta

Dessert:  1 chocolate almond

Snack:  whole wheat raisin bagel with laughing cow cheese

Dinner:  4 vegetarian chicken nuggets, a little bit of honey, and 1/2 cup cottage cheese

Snack:  whole grain chips and fresh salsa

I'm still hungry... 

Weight this morning:  166.5
Last night I was starving and I could hardly sleep.  Tonight i'm just going to take a damn sleeping pill and be done with it.  I also did squats last night...of all sorts.  I'm going to do that every night from now on.  I can't wait to be out of the 60s.  Hopefully i'll be out of 60s by early next month.

Get My Ass Off the Bed day

So this morning I weighed 167.5 Ibs.  Unacceptable!  Considering I was starving last night and could hardly sleep, but fought the urge to get up and get a snack.  Given, I don't know how much I weighed the day before....I mean I know I ate a lot the day before.  So maybe I did lose weight. And I am aware that I shouldn't weight myself every day, but I do know from experience that cutting your calories this early in weight loss should have a dramatic effect.  I thought I felt a lot thinner this morning though.  But anyhow, i'm going to listen to the advice of everyone, and start moving.  So for every 3 hours I spend on the computer, (and I will be on the computer for a long time to write my research paper), I will spend 1 hour moving.  Deal?  Deal.  Because it is true, i've been very sedentary.  Not good for me or my bottom.

Update:  So today I was hungrier than I was yesterday.  I ate:

breakfast:  2 whole wheat eggo waffles with 1/2 tbsp strawberry preserves
Lunch:  bowl of my whole wheat pasta and sauce
Dessert:  half a banana and light whipped cream
Snack:  whole wheat bagel and strawberry preserves
Dinner:  lean cuisine and about 1/4 cup cottage cheese, plus a bowl of cooked veggies with some artichoke dip.
Dessert:  1 chocolate almond
Snack:  1 small apple

I didn't work out as much as I should.  I basically "moved" for an hour....on the elliptical and walking.  Well, its a start.  And I need to finish my paper.
And of course its 10:15 pm and i'm hungry.. :(

I didn't weigh myself this morning, I was kind of afraid to. But I think I did reasonably well on my diet today.  I wasn't counting calories or doing weight watchers or anything.
Breakfast:  slept in
Lunch:  bowl of whole wheat egg noodles and sauce i made out of vegetables and light alfredo sauce
dessert:  strawberries and splenda
Snack:  granola bar
Snack2:  won ton soup
Dinner:  4 "chicken" (not real chicken) nuggets and about 1/2 cup cottage cheese
snack:  small apple

didn't work out.  Been working on homework...
I'm hungry..

Hi there,
I'm creating this blog in an attempt and keep myself on track with losing weight.  I'm 25 years old, 5'7 and I weigh 168 Ibs.  About two years ago, I was at 120.

I was kind of a chubby kid.  My comfort foods (what I ate about every day) from elementary up until 7th grade consisted mainly of nachos, pizza, cream of chicken/mushroom soup, grilled cheese sandwiches, mac and cheese, chicken mc nuggets, kid cuisines (with either the pizza or nuggets), and taco bell.  My mom would fix me an apple on the side, because she wanted to give me what I wanted but she thought I needed some fiber in my diet.

I wasn't too active, I would go swimming in the ocean a lot when I visited my grandparents in San Diego during the summers, and I was on a few swim teams (I would eat nachos before swim practice).  Other than that, though, I never wanted to hike or even take walks (I was the "lazy" one among my friends).

LEFT:  Me eating cream of chicken soup.  RIGHT:  Eatn a grilled cheese sandwich and more of that soup.

By the time I was in 7th grade, my weight...as well as other odd things about the way I looked... was beginning to become a social issue (it got so bad that I ended up being home-schooled).  My highest weight at this point was 145.  That might not sound too bad, but I tend to put a lot of weight on in my face, which makes me look fatter than I actually am.

Someone gave me a drug, called Dexedrine, to help me get going on losing weight, and to improve my self esteem.  My appetite was much different then, i don't know if it was due to this drug or just because I had never dieted before.  I was able to eat less.  I started to do this kick boxing video, called "kick butt."

 I went to San Diego that summer, and i know that i was about 140 Ibs at this point.  Grandma took me to Albersons grocery store and we talked to the lady there about what she recommended for weight loss.  We ended up buying a protein powder and flax seed oil.  She also must have mentioned potatoes, because Grandma turned to me and said that we can put a little butter or sour cream to make them taste better, and the lady working there said that "it is not about taste, its about nutrition."  Grandma did not agree with that statement.  But anyway...

I would eat cream of wheat with non fat milk for breakfast and some sweetener.  For lunch I had the protein shake that I had gotten ingredients for at the store:  frozen bananas, soy protein powder, flax seed oil, non fat milk, vanilla, and sweeteners.  I drank this just about every day for lunch that summer. And i would have "a little dinner."  Not to mention I went swimming in the ocean every day after lunch.  These days, if I tried to do that diet I think i would die of starvation....or just go crazy and eat everything in sight when i realized i will fail that diet.  But somehow I was able to do that back then.  I came back to school, 8th grade, after having lost 20 Ibs.  my friend from swimming said "look at you!  you went from this *wide arm gesture* to this! *vary narrow arm gesture.*  Everyone treated me differently. Even the hot girls came up to talk to me.  I felt so popular.

Left:  me in 8th grade

















In high school my weight fluctuated a little, but not that much.  I was about 127 for a very long time (which is why 27 is my favorite number now).
LEFT pic:  freshman year of high school.  Right pic:  Softmore year of high school

Junior year I met the love of my life, Josh, but our relationship as friends was very complicated.  I think I went into depression and got a little heavier.  He left my life that same year and I fell into a deep depression over the summer, as well as Senior year.  I fell into books, art, science, and the meaning of life during that time.  I became a strict vegetarian (for moral, not health reasons).   I got pretty skinny during that year, probably the thinnest I had ever been till that point.  I don't recall what I weighed, or what I ate.  I think It was a combination of being vegetarian and dating this guy, Zach, who would criticize my looks all the time.

Left:  beginning of junior Year.  Right:  end of Junior year.  Bottom:  beginning of senior year

Next two pics:  taken at the end of Senior Year

   

Pix taken later on...

So I'm dating Zach and I'm finally in college.  Unfortunately, Josh is still on my mind.  One night, while we were watching a movie, Josh calls me.  I recall going pee like over and over again (nerves).  I had never felt so many butterflys.

I ditched Zach, met up with Josh, and we shared our true love kiss.  After that, i couldn't eat anything for days.  my arms had goosebumps, I was just in love.  I got really skinny, down to about 112 or 115.  My parents tried to talk to me about how they thought i was anorexic (mom was anorexic when she was younger).

Again, Josh and I weren't working out, and I ended up finding someone else (lets call him "E").  I got into drinking and I gained some weight back, but not a lot. I was a vegetarian for 2 years, until I met another boyfriend, (lets call him "N") who i smoked a lot of pot with.  I became lazy, and very fat.  My weight shot up to 165 Ibs, the most I had ever weighed.  I was no longer a vegetarian; I just didn't care about that stuff anymore.  Then I dated someone else (lets call him "R"), who treated me terribly.

Pics later on with "E" after Josh and I parted ways:

              Next pics:  Starting to gain weight, with "N"

Next pics:  165 Ibs, with "R"

When I was in san diego, I decided it was time to make a change again.  My Grandma gave me some of my Aunt's weight watchers material.  I lost about a pound a day for a good amount of time. It took about 6 months before I got down to 120.  Here's what I ate:
breakfast:  oatmeal and fat free milk
Lunch:  whole wheat pasta, with spinach and marinara sauce
Dessert:  sliced strawberries with light whipped cream (which later turned into strawberries with lemon juice and splenda).
Snack:  100 cal smart pop.
Dinner:  frozen dinner like Lean cuisine or Smart Ones and a vegetable
Dessert: more strawberries
for exercise I would hike for an hour.

bottom two pics:  120 Ibs with Josh



Also, when I finally reached 120, I had been in a relationship with Josh for about 4 months.
NOW here is the turning point, at which I have still not recovered.  about 2 years ago, Josh had to move away to live with his parents in Atascadero (about 2 and a half hours away).  I decided that since he is going, that we should eat out a lot, and i could just do my diet when he left.  So I pigged out for about 2 weeks before he had to go.  I don't know why, I guess I loved it so much that instead of going back to my diet that I had worked so hard to achieve, I continued to eat too much.  My weight just went up and up.  I would try going back to dieting, but whenever I drank...i would get really hungry and/or starving the next day. So i would screw up my diet.  And I would go out and drink all the time.  So its like every week for 2 years i've been dieting and screwing it up.  I tried adkins, weight watchers, vegan, counting calories, etc.
What I've found is that I can't lose weight if i keep drinking.  And I can't stop drinking if i keep going out...i'm definitely a social alcoholic.

Today I weigh 168.  My highest weight has been 170.

Now Josh and I are planning a wedding in September of 2013.  That gives me plenty of time to look good in my wedding dress; but, since Ive been dieting and failing for 2 years, I think it is suitable that i should be feeling discouraged.  

So here is my blog.  Wish me luck :)  xoxo