New Years

My New Years resolution is to quit drinking and smoking completely.  I have 6 months to prepare my body for pregnancy.  I also want to lose 20 Ibs. 

My plan is: 
Eat at least 2 cups of fruit and 3 cups of vegetables every day.
Only eat whole grains.
Only eat low fat dairy products.
No meat.
Only 1 chocolate a day and no other sweets.

I'm going to eat no more than 300 calories every three hours.  I'm going to work out for at least 20 min a day (to get myself started).  I will do 100 squats every other day.  I'm going to start this and my eating routine tomorrow... after new years I will stop with the drinking and smoking.  I'm just going to slow it down a bit for now. 

Im back!  My lowest weight this year was 138.5 but im pretty sure im back to 145. Thats why im here.

Weight: 153.5

how this happened... i don't know but i'm pleasantly surprised.  hiking this morning for sure

Weight: 155 Ibs

I need to stay on track.  Its difficult when I work 14 hours a day sometimes.. but I need to do this... I want to be a size 7 again!  I want guys to look at me and fall over themselves.  I want to wear nice cloths.. and i want to feel good about myself.  So ..

Breakfast:  cereal
Lunch:  bean and rice burrito (I went vegetarian)
Snack:  light string cheese and wheat thins
Dinner:  vegetables and "smart one" or "lean cuisine"
Snack:  100 calorie smart pop

fill up on fruits and veg

ok... go

I'm a mess. I broke up with Ryan.  I've been going all day eating about 300 calories and then binging at the end of the day.  THATS a way to get fat.  But at least I know i can go all day on so little food. So i just need to eat less at the end of the day also. What if i tried just 3 bites of food every ... 2 hours?  so like
8:00 3 bits
11:00 3 bites
2:00 3 bites
5:00 3 bites
8:00 3 bites
11:00 3 bites

at least then i feel like i'm eating a lot and it would keep my metabolism up. I'll try it tomorrow. so tired of being fat. guys treat me like shit.

Weight: 161

At least I didn't gain weight after my binges.  OK here we go.  New diet:

Breakfast:  low calorie cereal (such as special K).
Lunch:  salad
Snack:  half wheat bagel with margarine
Dinner:  whatever I can fit into my small red bowl

And...as many fruits/veg as I want.

Ryan slept over two days in a row.  We had a good time together... he's less quiet.  He says i'm easy to talk to.  And I really, really...really....like him...   He's a deputy btw.. so real handcuffs :)

me at wk. I love the lighting in their bathroom....

Weight: 161

back to the old 160s.  serves me right...i've been very bad for a long while. I'm surprised that number isn't higher.  Not anymore...I'm going to hold myself accountable on this blog.
So I think Ryan does like me...he certainly does show it.  He just doesn't talk a lot...but he said he feels comfortable with me without having to talk a lot.  I guess that's how he is.  It makes me feel more comfortable knowing i'm not being judged for not talking so much...because i'm quiet too.  He's lucky he's cute...tall... mature.. and other things... :)  And...Josh went on a date last night.  I haven't heard from him since...although it is only 7 AM.  If nothing else at least he is distracted.  I hope he finds someone. I know its quite a loss for me..but we continued to break up for a reason.  A great smile and fun personality ...and how he loves me...sometimes doesn't make up for the fact that I just can't respect him anymore.  That's a big one.

I'm not sure what to eat for breakfast.  All of the cereals we have have too many weight watchers points.  Eggs have no fiber and thus, lots of weight watchers points.  I just want food food...screw breakfast.  But still too many points.  Its hard to control my eating when I have work... not that I eat a lot at work but I definitely feel like eating everything in the house after work.  Just so tired and hungry.  Not sure what to do about that.  And FYI, I work at a bakery. But I don't eat the product...thank god I'm not a huge sweet fan.  If it was a pizza place i'd be fucked.  mmmmmmmm....pizzza...
Ugh Ryan.  He is so cute.  And so sexy.  Did I mention he can sing?  REALLY well.  And I can't sing... I bet he sang with his last gf.  See these are the thoughts that make girls go nuts. Just...chill.