I don't know

I don't know if Ryan actually likes me. i'm pretty sure he would like me a ton more if i was thin.  I know he would be head over heels for me.  But i'm always fucking eating too much.  I haven't been exercising.  I'm just lazy and fat and I don't want to be around anyone.  He's just so quiet around me.  I want to disappear for a while.  I don't want anyone to see me until I look perfect. I wish i had never met Ryan.  And I wish that Josh was the right one...because I know he loves me.  I feel lost.  I'm getting old... I need to find the right guy and be thin and have that honeymoon and settle down and have a child.  I'm just going in circles.

Weight: 158.5

Weight: 159

I know I haven't posted and i've been bad.  But at least I am out of the 60s.  It took me forever just to weigh myself, i've been so busy with finals.  I'm going to try and post more often to keep myself on the right path. oh And i met someone else... check it out... and he's absolutely perfect for me in every way. its absolutely incredible.  and hes crazy about me! (P.S.  not me in those photos)  another reason why i have been too busy to post!!

Weight: 160

Weight: 161

i'm getting out of the 160s this week.  before the 12th.  Watch me.

Weight: 162

Today I ate:
breakfast:  cereal
Lunch:  Salad
Snack:  half a bagel with margarine
Dinner:  vegetables and 6 fake chicken nuggets with honey
Fruits:  some of a mango, an apple, and a banana