Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I don't know

I don't know if Ryan actually likes me. i'm pretty sure he would like me a ton more if i was thin.  I know he would be head over heels for me.  But i'm always fucking eating too much.  I haven't been exercising.  I'm just lazy and fat and I don't want to be around anyone.  He's just so quiet around me.  I want to disappear for a while.  I don't want anyone to see me until I look perfect. I wish i had never met Ryan.  And I wish that Josh was the right one...because I know he loves me.  I feel lost.  I'm getting old... I need to find the right guy and be thin and have that honeymoon and settle down and have a child.  I'm just going in circles.
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4 comments:

  1. RayyaJune 6, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    Hey, first of all, I have missed you! so good to hear from you again - I hope you are ok. I am feeling like this too right now, like I should be getting married and stuff.. But you have plenty of time! you are still young, trust me you have lots of time for all that, dont put so much pressure on yourself to be settling down, when its time it will all fall in to place.

    I guess we are both in a bit of a rut huh? I havent been exercising at all either.. remember you are gorgeous with a great personality, you just need your confidence back - I guess that will happen for us both when our bodies are how we want them to look, maybe you need to concentrate on you for a while?

    I do hope you are ok hun, Much love xxx

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  2. MeganJune 6, 2012 at 6:56 PM

    awe, ur awesome. I hiked and now my ass hurts...so kinda feeling better. thank you :)

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  3. WinterAJune 7, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    It's okay. I was once where you are now with the whole guy thing. Got the right guy, now it's let's get second car house and then a baby. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden all those things where important to me.

    I hope everything else turns out okay. Don't worry about the exercise and the eating habits. Your body probably just needed a break. I know mine goes threw phases like that were it is like give me a damn break. Then after that is back to being good to me.

    Take care.

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  4. MeganJune 8, 2012 at 6:58 AM

    yeah I know what you mean about the break... time to get my ass in gear though. thanks for commenting :)

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